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Jul 2, 2009

Things That Make Me Shake My Head This Week

Yeah, call me Grumpy because this is another rant. There are alot of things that made me shake my head this week as well as think, "hmmm.... I'm going to gripe about that in my blog". Again, I can't believe I'm a blogger. It's fun. It's random. Well, here is the list that made me shake my head this week...

1. The word "blog". It's just a weird word. Sometimes, it makes me chuckle. Sometimes it makes me think, "who came up with that word?". Try this trick. Look at the mirror with a serious face, point at yourself and say, "blog". It makes me laugh every time.

2. I am so freaking weird!

3. There was a "Muscle and Fitness" magazine on the desk. I opened it up to a random page. You know that guy that used some kind of "miracle" supplement that lost like 20 lbs in 8 weeks with a spectacular before/after pic? Get this. Both the before and after photos were taken within an hour. Before pic = dim the lighting, "pertrude" your stomach out as if you're pregnant, and be as relaxed as possible. The after pic = beef up the lighting, put on some tanning spray, WORK OUT, and flex while the shot is being taken. Don't fall for the "miracle" supplement. I know, it's cheesy, but it's true.

4. To the guy that was lifting the 90lb dumbbells and dropping them onto the floor at the highest point for the "ohhhh... look at me! look at me! I'm so strong and sexy!!" effect, you don't impress me. You know the older lady at the other side of the gym when you put on the show? Unlike you, she can walk to her mailbox and not get winded.

5. Peppers and onions on pizza. Who's the punk that came up with that idea? Just looking at a pepper or onion on pizza pisses me off. That's like putting mayo on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah, I'm weird.

6. They make a reality show out of anything. Are we so bored with ourselves that we need to watch someone else go to the grocery store on TV for stimulation? Next week on "Mom From California" ..... Elaine gets a headache and goes to Walgreens for some Tylenol. That's so stupid!

7. The Biggest Loser. Ohhhhhhh geez. I love it when they put in the cheesy plugs. "You know Rick, when I am cooking in the kitchen and I am tempted to snack, I just chew on this lovely Extra brand chewing gum. It's sweet, it's sugar-free and I get a paid endorsement for saying these words".

8. Why does GA close 3 miles of road for a pot hole that is 6 inches in diameter? And why is one person working on it, while 4 others stand behind him with a cup of coffee or a cheeseburger just watching him? You little dillweed. Move some cones and let us go through.

9. I absolutely LOVE being in the express lane at Kroger with 4 items while I wait on the lady in front of me with a buggy full of stuff talking on the cell phone wanting to write a check. Actually, I'm lying. I really hate that. Hmmm... how about I take that cell phone, shove it so far down your throat that you fart text messages for a week? Does that sound cool? Awesome.

10. Leaving the buggy right next to your car instead of returning it 10 feet over to the coral. Are you kidding me? You can't take 12 seconds out of your day to walk your lazy bum and a buggy 10 feet away? Is it because you need to finish your conversation with your bff about what you saw on TMZ?

11. TMZ. Oh for crying out loud. A channel about nonsense. "Paris Hilton sneezed in the hot tub today and was caught on camera. Julie is on location... Julie? Yes. It's true Paris Hilton did sneeze and it was more than once". ... I would rather watch a pair of 1984 PE class shorts sit in my memory drawer than that crap. Why do people like that stuff?

12. I was hoping to just name 10 things and I did 12 instead. For crying out loud... I'm a Grump.

1 comment:

  1. Laughing my butt off at #9, especially the part about farting text messages :) Good work, Mike - keep it up!
    Lindsey A.