News You Couldn't Use

Well smack my butt and call me Betty. Not only does that not make sense, but it also gets your attention. I'm going in a different direction this week and I'm going to give you some news so you'll be all caught up with what celebrities have gotten a divorce, perhaps some sports scores, and who is mad at who over Michael Jackson's death.

That's right. The King of Pop has passed away. The media has done a shameful job of letting you know, so that is why I stepped up and said something. In all seriousness, I do hope and pray for peace and stability for his family, but more importantly, his children.

Hmmm, that's weird. That's the first time I've been serious since 1987. That felt good for a second, and then unnatural. All of a sudden I want to take a shower.

Al Sharpton spoke to the media this week because he likes to hear himself talk... (this is way too easy, I can just copy and paste that sentence every week).

The country is in debt. In order to resolve this problem, they want to spend money. I don't make it up folks... I just type it.

Ex GM CEO Rick Wagoner will retire in August with a benefit package valued at more than $10 million. I have friends that have gotten laid off and all they got was 2 weeks severance, some post-it notes and a "sorry we had to do this the week before Christmas". Hmmm, I see an imbalance. At least throw in a red stapler.

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson broke up. I actually broke a sweat and lost weight trying to give a crap.

In sports ... well ... football is coming soon baby!

Paris Hilton got arrested last week for harrassing a cab driver. She made the cab driver go in reverse for 2 miles and then told him that HE owed HER money. Ok, that's not true. But she annoys the crap out of me so I can type whatever I want.

Ponder me this thought of the week... Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Have a strong finish to the week folks,
Mikey