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Nov 9, 2010


I just put my finishing touches on my 2-week "Thanksgiving Damage" Boot Camp program and decided to write another random rant.  Because hey, we all need to vent.  What's your rant?  Let it out.  Tell your friends. Tell your family.  Don't hold it in.  Blog about it.

1. 0-8 in fantasy football... are you kidding me?  It's one thing to be 0-8 and you're not paying attention... you know, like not lining up your players, not keeping up with the waiver wire, etc., etc.  But to be 0-8 and you're actually trying to win a game??  That's just pathetic.  By the way, I'm the commissioner, too.  Even worse?  My Panthers have only won 1 game so far this season.  Rock on football... rock on.

2.  I did a tour of the hospital to help "prep" us for the birth of our first child coming in January (although my wife's belly shows he could be due like... tomorrow around noon).  I left saying to myself, "blue parking lot, blue parking lot, blue parking lot", and I actually felt better.  I looked over at my wife and she was about to lose it.  I then made the mistake of saying to her, "Hey, it's going to be OK. It will be a cake walk".  There was a dramatic pause followed by the look of death.  I'm not good at this.

3.  The Ipad.  I love it so much I try to see one at Best Buy 1-3 times a week for my "fix".  I just want to read pdf's and I can't justify purchasing something like that just to read pdfs.  Ipad... you're the devil.... that and lunges.

4.  Muscle marketing.  "Gain insane amounts of muscle in just 6 days!" ... "Awesome pumps!" ... "Vascular road maps as veins!".  Serving size - 3 scoops ... 56 grams of protein, 190 grams of carbs, 7 grams of fat.  Are you kidding me?  Can't I just eat a few candy bars and call it a day?... it's alot cheaper.  Of course you'll gain weight eating that.  I can go to town on my Mom's Banana Nut Cream cake and gain weight.  That's easy. I could probably make money doing it, too.  "Smooth-on-top trainer eats his Mom's banana nut cream cake, lifts heavy and gains 20 lbs in just 4 weeks".

5.  Georgia weather.

6.  Georgia traffic lights.

7.  Georgia weather while driving and dealing with Georgia traffic lights

8.  I'm starting to think I'm actually getting more and more immature as I get older.  I just saw Jackass 3D and I laughed my butt off.  That's kinda scary considering I'm about to be a Dad. But I'll be ready.  He-he.  Sling shot in a port-a-potty.  Brilliant.

9.  If you complain about your gut, but talk about the 4 beers you had ... and do nothing but a variety of crunches for 45 minutes, I will blog about it.  <----- See?  I told you.

10.  People?  Please tell me how to deal with pregnancy hormones.  When I get a glass of water for her, it's as if I'm Mother Theresa, bringing a bag of awesomeness, goodness and gold to her, and the water is like... holy or something.  But when I pat my dog on the head and telling the pooch hello, my wife screams out, "I always knew you loved that dog more than me!  She CAN DO NO WRONG!".  It's just weird.

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