Fun with Solicitors

Check out my conversation on the phone with a solicitor at the gym...


Solicitor: (automated message) We can lower your interest rate on your mortgage. To speak to a representative, press "1" now

Me: Pressed "1"

Solicitor: Hi, who am I speaking with?

Me: Me

Solicitor: Sir, we can help lower your interest rate by...

Me: Excuse me, I'm at a gym and alot is going on... "Wilbert! Put your pants back on! I hate it when you do squats like that. This is a family gym!" Sorry... you were saying?

Solicitor: Ummm sir, we can help you with your mortgage by...

Me: Gertrude!! What did I say!! I told you that those poles are NOT to use as a dancing pole! Now take your silly wig off and switch your high heels for sneakers NOW!!

Solicitor: (chuckling) Sir? Can I interest you in one of our programs?

Me: Hmmm. Maybe, but ... Oh c'mon Larry! Quit letting your monkey do pull-ups in here! No animals! And take that silly tu-tu off of him!!

Solicitor: (Laughing) Is everything ok there?

Me: Things are a little slow, but I'm ok. But I'm hungry so I'm going to let you go.

Sorry folks... today is a little slow at the gym, so I did what I could with a marketing call.

Have a good day,
Mike Whitfield
Fitness Trainer, Weirdo

My First Blog is a Rant ... Awesome!

I'm not a negative person, but sometimes, people have to vent. That's what I'm doing now. See? I told you this blog will be really random. My next blog might be about frogs or scooters... who knows. Anyway, here are my rants.

1. Jon & Kate Plus 8 = I'm bored and sick of it.
2. Georgia traffic lights. The theory behind having a light stay red for 10 minutes and green for 6 seconds is beyond me. This is why someplace only 6 miles away can take 30 minutes to get there. Thanks GA DOT!
3. The new Facebook layout. Don't even get me started. "Waldo just found himself in his own puzzle. Now you take the Where's Waldo quiz!". "Jane just took the How Many June of 1984 Songs Do You Know quiz". Are you kidding me?
4. Gym grunters. Yeah, we get it. It's heavy. Congratulations.
5. Speaking of the gym... why do some people persist on coming in every day to do 1,000 sets of bench presses, yet they can't do a single push-up?
6. 70-year olds who try to look 25. It hurts to watch.
7. The "I don't have time to exercise. I have kids" excuse. There's a trainer at my gym that works full time, and has had 3 kids. She's as chiseled as anyone that has been photoshopped on the cover of People Magazine.
8. Reality shows. Yeah, I said it.
9. When people know more about American Idol than the presidential candidates... and then they go vote.
10. Onions.

Coming soon...

This blog will be really random. Sometimes, I might give some good nutrition/fitness tips. I may talk about the weather. I may even talk about my left shoe. But several people have asked if I could start a blog, so I'm doing some digging and starting one up. Be on the lookout.